Menopause

Twenty or thirty years ago the topic of menopause was not brought up and even in this day and age many women view menopause as an end to life as she knows it. When girls are taught sex education in school menopause is rarely mentioned as if it is some dirty little secret. Menopause does not have to be an end to life, but rather, it can be seen as the beginning of a new stage of your life with more freedom than ever before if you face it with a positive outlook. For once you have reached menopause you no longer have to worry about messy periods or unwanted pregnancies, on the upside, but on the downside you become a dried out old prune with loss of libido, greying and falling hair, week brittle bones and in the beginning stages, mood swings which have your family hiding in dread. After going through menopause myself it brings to mind a joke I once read, “Why do they call it menopause?” “Because mad cow disease was already taken.”

Menopause is the time in a woman’s life when her reproductive years come to an end with the average woman going through menopause around the age of fifty one. As menopause nears, the ovaries produce less estrogens and the first sign is a change in your menstrual cycle. You can experience a heavier or lighter flow, bleeding can last for shorter or longer periods of time or skipping one or more periods. At some point the ovaries slow in the production of estrogens and this causes periods to stop. Lower amounts of estrogens will cause changes in the body over time as well, such as overall weight gain, unwanted facial hair and a pot belly that would make Santa envious. Menopause is different for every woman; some will notice little change while some may find it difficult to cope and will want to kill anything that crosses her path.

The most common symptom of menopause is hot flashes. Around seventy five percent women experience them. They can occur at any time day or night. They can be mild or severe and can come several times a month or several times a day. They can disrupt sleep patterns, making it difficult to fall asleep or finding yourself waking in the wee hours of the morning drenched in sweat. While other people around you may be freezing you will be hot and sweaty and find yourself wearing shorts and singlet in the middle of winter. Once the flash has passed you will start to freeze with the rest and pile on layers of clothing. You may find yourself changing clothes several times a day. Lack of sleep may become one of the biggest problems during this time, it’s no wonder many women become grouchy.

Changes in the vagina also take place as the lining becomes thin and dry causing painful intercourse. The vaginal area will also be more prone to infection. Urinary tract infection is also common and women who have gone through menopause may be more susceptible. Bone loss is normal but the rate of bone loss increases after menopause which can result in osteoporosis. Bones of the hip, wrist and spine are affected the most and with increasing bone loss the risk of breaking bones is higher. With fewer estrogens produced women are also more prone to heart attack and stroke.

Menopause can be an emotional time for some women and many suffer from mood swings and feelings of stress. Some women will have less interest in sex during this time as lower oestrogen levels decrease sex drive and cause vaginal dryness. Some on the other hand are not affected sexually at all. Lubricants can be used to help remedy dryness. Orgasm can be difficult to achieve or may take longer than previously.

In order to stay healthy during menopause eating a well balance diet is important. Eat a low fat, low cholesterol diet. Fat intake should be only thirty percent of your daily calorie intake. Calcium rich foods should be included to maintain strong bones. Women aged fifty one and older who, are not taking hormone replacement, need at least one thousand five hundred mg per day. Women who are using hormone replacement therapy need one thousand mg per day. As your body can only absorb five hundred mg at a time calcium supplements should be taken in two doses. Calcium rich foods are yogurt, cheese, other dairy products, oyster, sardines, and canned salmon and dark green leafy vegetables. Calcium cannot be absorbed without vitamin D. Milk fortified with vitamin D is one of the best sources. Getting adequate sunlight will help or you can take vitamin D supplements. Recommended daily requirement is ten micrograms per day for women aged fifty one or older. Eat fruit and vegetables and whole grain cereals high in vitamin C and carotene such as grapefruit, oranges, carrots, winter squash, tomatoes, broccoli and cauliflower. These are a good source of vitamins, minerals and dietary fibre. Avoid salt, salt cured and smoked foods such as sausages, smoked fish, ham, bacon, bologna and hot dogs. High salt intake can lead to high blood pressure. Avoid food and drinks with processed sugar as they contain empty calories and add excess weight.

Exercise is important as you get older. Regular exercise slows down bone loss and improves heart health as well as overall health and mood. A woman who is sedentary may suffer from heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity and osteoporosis as well as back pain, stiffness, insomnia, weak muscle, shortness of breath and depression can set in. Walking, jogging, aerobics, swimming, biking and dance are all good exercise for the menopausal woman. Staying active helps to improve your outlook on life.

Hormone Replacement therapy can be useful when you are going through the change, according to some doctors; others claim that clinical trials have shown that HRT causes cancer. With this in mind many drug companies have come out with herbal remedies to combat the symptoms of menopause. The decision to use HRT should be discussed with your doctor but in my opinion HRT only delays the inevitable. We all grow old and as Joan Rivers once joked, “The secret to anti-aging is to die young.”

The Older Woman

You see it all the time, the fat, balding, aging man dating or having an affair with a twenty something year old girl. Yes at that age they are still girls who are frivolous and haven’t really lived much of their life. They are full of insecurities and need constant reaffirmation that you love them and that they are beautiful. The woman in her twenties does not fully trust her man and is forever questioning his were abouts and what he’s been up to. She’ll never trust that you’ve been hanging out with your buddies having a few drinks and shooting the shit. Sure you look at other girls, surreptitiously, when you are with her and openly ogle them when you’re with your friends, after all it’s a guy thing that a twenty something year old girl will never understand. In her mind you have her so why do you need to look at another hot chick.

A woman over thirty is a different kettle of fish all together. We’re psychic, we know you look at other women and we also know what you’ve been up to. We can see it in your face every time. You’ll never have to tell us about your multitude of indiscressions and we wouldn’t hesitate to shoot you if we could get away with it, but since we can’t we have other ways of making you pay. We can praise you lavishly even when it’s not deserved or we can tear you to the ground. We know what it’s like to be unappreciated. We don’t lay awake at night and wonder what you’re thinking about because frankly speaking we don’t give a crap. We know there isn’t much going on in that mind of yours and we’d rather get our sleep anyway. If you want to watch sports or play your games, go ahead we won’t bitch about it, we can find something else to do that is much more rewarding and fulfilling.

We don’t care what you think about us or what we are doing. We are self assured enough to know what we want and when we want it. We don’t need your reassurance. Even if we don’t trust you we will still introduce you to our girlfriends because we know they will not betray us. Dining out with us is pleasant because we won’t start a brawl with you in the middle of a restaurant. We’re dignified and wise enough to know that the silent treatment cuts deeper. Women over thirty are more honest and will surely tell you what an ass you’ve been if need be. We don’t pull punches and we can take as good as we give without breaking down in tears. Women over the age of thirty are sexier. By this time we have reached our sexual peak, we know what we want in bed and we know what you want. We don’t need to fake orgasm and if it wasn’t enjoyable we’ll let you know. We want to be pleasured as much as you want to be please.

If you decide you want to go out with your friends for a little male bonding, please do. We won’t stop you or whine about it or insist on going with you because we know that the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is true as does “familiarity breeds contempt”. The same goes for” out of sight out of mind” because we surely do not sit and think about you every minute of the day. We need our space as much as you need yours and we don’t want you breathing down our necks all the time.

Into Each Life

Into each life a little rain must fall. Of course we know that this little saying means that no one’s life is ever smooth sailing. During our lifetime we all have our ups and downs, there are the good times and there are bad times and so we all must suffer through the bad before we can enjoy the good. Unfortunately my life is full of more bad then good.

Take for instance my car. Grant you the car is old but I cannot afford to replace it just yet, hopefully in a year or so but not now. Last week while driving home my car started to make a high pitched squealing noise and since that was a Friday night I figured I’d take it into the shop the next day, a Saturday. When I first heard the noise I thought it was someone else’s car but as I pulled away from the toll the noise was not getting lower but remained the same. I turned off the radio to listen more carefully and sure enough it was my car damn it! After driving a few hundred yards the noise stopped but almost halfway home it started again. I knew then that I had better have it checked.

The next day I got my car into the shop early and after checking the mechanic told me it was the alternator belt. It took them an hour and a half to change the damn thing and once they were done I noticed the mechanics talking to each other and pointing at my engine. To me this is not a good thing so when one of the mechanics approached me I knew that something else was wrong. Sure enough the mechanic informed me that the alternator was crooked and he couldn’t straighten it, there was a screw missing and a metal cylinder which should be part of the alternator was missing. I had changed it a little over a year ago and had not had any problems and now the mechanic was telling me it needed changing again. The last time I had changed it I had gotten a second-hand one and was charged $280.00 and there was only a five month warranty. This repair had been done at another shop at which I suspected the mechanic there was ripping me off. Not surprising he was, when I asked this mechanic how much to replace it he said $118.00 for a brand new one. Once my car was done the mechanic told me that my car was leaking oil and also asked when was the last time I changed my timing belt. He told me I needed to wash my engine before he could check where the leak was coming from. I didn’t think it was too bad so I told him I would wash it and bring it back in for him to check, as for my timing belt I had to check my shit load of previous bills to find out when it was last changed.

So this past Saturday I dutifully washed my engine and took it back. Half way there the damn car stalled and I had trouble starting it. Managed to get it to the shop and told the mechanic what had happened and that the timing belt was last changed in 2007 so that had to be changed as well. He looked around and then informed me I would have to leave it at the shop for a few days because they would have to take the engine apart to check. I guess you can’t expect much from a twelve year old car which has been pretty good up till now. I left it there and today it is ready. I just went to collect it and the bill came to a whopping $2000.00 for repairs. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream but all I could do was laugh, hysterically I might add. Thank god for credit cards. The engine looks like new engine, my clutch is loose the way it should be, they washed my car and polished the wheels and best of all they screwed up the rear fender which was about to drop off.

Yep into each life a little rain must fall, but in my life there always seems to be a typhoon. If it’s not teenager problems its car problems, nothing ever seems to go smoothly. No wonder I drink. A wise Chinese fortune teller once told me that according to the life lines on my hand I would have to work my whole life. A few years later the lines had changed and he told me that once I reached the age of fifty my life would be easier. This year I’ll be fifty two, I’m still waiting!