Gas Prices

I saw in yesterdays paper that the price of gas has gone down by 10 cents a litre in preparation for the Raya balik kumpung.

Saturday several gas stations had run out of gas because they didn't stock pile for the Raya rush.
Reason given was that if they stock piled they would lose money. Now I can't in all honesty blame them. With the governments decision to lower and raise the petrol prices at whim we the consumer benefit but what about the petrol kiosk owners.

Is it fair to them that they are the ones who should have to take a fall, and once Raya is over will the price of gas go back up again. Most kiosk owners are just like you and I trying to get by in these uncertain times. The problem though even though the price of gas goes down nothing else does. Public transport remains the same , food prices remain the same as does the price of eating out. Our salaries remain the same. With prices going up most people have had to cut back drastically, because salaries do not increase. Hell your lucky if your boss doesn't ask you to take a pay cut because the company is not earning as much, because of the raise in prices.

Now I don't know about you but I think most businesses should start reviewing employees salaries and start giving everyone an increase. It's got to the point that you can't even count on your bonus anymore.

Just One Of Those Days

I'm feeling kinda out of it today, you know just one of those days. I don't know why, as I went to bed at a ll pm and got up this morning at 7am. Can't sleep too late even though the kids are on Raya leave this week. Justin still has to go to work so I get up to make sure he gets up. He still needs his mama.

This morning I woke up in pain and so, as I usually do every morning, I couldn't bounce out of bed, but had to roll over onto my side and push myself up with my hands. Just going to turn 50 but feel like 80.

Finally managed to get to the loo, sit on toilet and when finished I almost couldn't get up. After that, brush the teeth, glance in the mirror and whoa!!! swollen eye. Seems my stye's not fully gone yet. So you can imagine the sight that greats me this morning, swollen eye and hair standing up. I know, I know I usually spike my hair but I don't flatten it out on the sides so I look like I have a Mohawk.

Whole morning just dragging my butt around. Get the chores done and clean my room. I hate cleaning my room, but I hate it even more if I don't.

So now I'm sitting at the computer with brain drain cause I sure as hell can't think of much to write. Just goes to show you how boring my life has become and how crappy I feel. Dawn thinks I should take up yoga, maybe I should but with the way I feel I'd probably sprain something.

Somethings Wrong Here

After writing my blog and pinging it I like to check out some of the other blogs to see what other people are writing about.

I can't remember who the blogger was but his blog site had a YouTube segment about a 15 year old girl in the states who claims that she has had sex 300 times with 15 guys and wants to get pregnant. The poor mother has caught her daughter in her bed with some guy 3 times. The stupid kid (and that's what she is a kid) has even bought baby toys, clothes, bottles and pacifiers in preparation for that time.

Now somethings wrong here when a 15 year olds sole mission in life is to get laid and get pregnant. She even claims that she will prostitute herself to support the baby. Well I guess she's getting some pretty good practice in now isn't she. The mother seemed like a decent woman worried about her daughter but the question has to be asked "How the Hell did you raise that girl?"

A 15 year old girls only responsibility should be to study hard and try to get good grades and hopefully go on to college and eventually get a good job. Not to put a notch on her bed post every time she scores. A girl of that age is not emotionally equipped to be a mother.

In the US, Canada, Britain, Europe the lack of discipline in the house hold is turning our children into monsters. Even in Asia the trend is catching on. Is it because parents are afraid of being accused of child abuse, because their kid can go to the cops and report them if you whacked their little fannies. The experts on parenting tell you to talk to your kids or reason with them but how do you reason with a 3 or 4 year old throwing a temper tantrum in the shopping mall because you wouldn't buy them what ever the hell they wanted.

Or maybe the problem in this case is the girl didn't get enough love at home. I don't know but I think if she were my kid I'd lock her up in the house until she was 21.

Morons on Motorbikes

Yesterday when I took Robyn to tuition there was a jam on Tepi Sungai. As we crawled along we finally got to the point not far from our house to the spot that was causing the jam. Seems there had been a show down between a big four wheel drive and a motorbike and the the four wheel drive won. As we drove past we noticed that the motorbike was lodged under the front of the truck.

You know how it is thought you hate to see the blood and gore but you look anyways and shudder afterwards. Thankfully the bike rider was not hurt. I didn't stop so I don't know whose fault it was, but I don' t doubt it was the motorbike rider.

I actually think once they get that bike between their legs all their brains go to their asses, because they sure aren't using them. They drive around thinking their invincible bombing up and down the road weaving in and out of traffic. Your trying to change lanes on a busy highway you finally get a chance and then before you know some idiot on a bike comes up behind you . At the traffic light your all stopped for the red light and you have motorbikes surrounding you and before the light even turns green their off faster then the speed of light. Or how about the slow ones just cruising down the road going 15 miles an hour but he's smack in the middle of the road. You want to over take the A-hole and just flip him a bird but can't because there's too much traffic coming on the other side of the road.

But this has got to be my ultimate favorite. I live on Tepi Sungai which is still pretty much a kampung area, and I swear to god sometimes I think they all interbreed, because some of those dudes just don't seem to have their god given brains. You'll be driving along and all of a sudden you'll see two boys on a bike, no helmet and the driver decides to pull a wheely. I guess his pillion rider must trust him a lot not kill them both. You even have the dudetts getting in on the action now a days. Used to be you didn't see many women driving motorbikes, but times have changed. The best part is though if you hit one of them it's your fault cause you weren't paying attention. Never mind that you just came up on my blind side or your tailing a car so close that no one can see you.

So when my youngest son sits in the car tells me when he gets a job he's going to save up and buy himself a motorbike. I just look at him and tell him "Not in this life time little dude." "Over my dead body."

Grocery Shopping

Yesterday I did my grocery shopping and what a nightmare shopping has become. To start with I always shop at the same place because I know where everything is.

Well the Tesco I shop at has started changing things around and I am the type of person who hates change. I live by schedules and that is how I raised my kids when they were babies. I always had a schedule and if anything came up to wreck havoc with my schedule my whole day would be screwed.

So this brings us back to shopping. I hate grocery shopping!! Especially now with food prices going up. Not that I buy a whole hell of a lot of food mostly crap for the kids. Veggies never enter my cart cause we don't like them, but in the past month I have cut down drastically on the crap for the kids. My son usually works late or comes back late so I don't have to cook for him. I now only cook for myself and the 2 youngest ones, which is a pain because the youngest one is picky.

Back to shopping again. The reason it was a nightmare is, I had wanted to go shopping and race around Tesco and get out of there within an hour. Unfortunately with things being changed around I now have to hunt for the things I want. Why the hell do they have to change everything. Did they do some kind of anal study and decided that the chips weren't placed in the right spot? A spot for maximum exposure or do the companies come in and check around and say "Hey I don't want my stuff here people won't be able to find it!" Don't worry we will find your crap. We go up and down every isle to make sure we find your crap.

The other thing that pissed me off yesterday was the price of chicken. Now I have never spent more the six or seven ringgit on a chicken. Yesterday I nonchalantly picked a chicken and gave it to the guy to be weighed and cut. I didn't really pay much attention so when he gave me back my chicken I almost shit my pants because the chicken was RM20.10. One lousy chicken and since it had already been cut I just took it anyways, and what about cheese! HUH ! I like to make mac and cheese once in a while but the cost of Kraft Cheddar brick has gone up to over RM9.00. Did they start putting gold in the cheese or something? Another thing we like to eat a certain brand of margarine and for the past month they have not had one tub available. Why! I had settle for some other crappy ass margarine. It better taste good.

When I finally made to the cashier and everything had been tallied the bill came to almost RM300!!!! Even after drastically cutting back. Hell if I cut back any more we'll be eating grass. I don't want to eat grass we hate veggies!!

Make Lemonade

When I first started my blog I seemed to have a lot to say, but there are those times I can't think of much to write hence yesterdays blog on Curse Words and today's blog.

I salute those television writers who day after day must come up with fresh dialogue to write. Since I have decided to stay home and try to work I have gone to writing sites where you can post your written word and have people pay you. A lot of people out there are making money this way, it's free to sign on and most of it seems to be scam free.

Now since I have decided to do this I have suddenly become blank. I came across this sight that will pay you USD48 for your article and commit you to another 11 if they choose you. Not bad for an article once a month and after the exchange rate it comes to almost RM150. The article is to be about being 50 and how fabulous it is. Now I will turn 50 next month and this should be easy peasy but I just can't for the life of me think about anything that is great about being 50.

At 50 I am jobless and still have two kids to put through school. The beauty industry doesn't want me anymore because I am too old and I refuse to travel. Just think about all the trouble darling Robyn would get into if I'm not around. Now a nice office job would be good but without the experience they would only pay me RM1,200 a month. With the cost of gas, toll and parking I'd be working just to pay for going to work. Just doesn't make sense.

So now I have started searching the writing sites. There is a lot out there and if you can sell a few articles a month you wouldn't have to worry too much. I really want that writing gig about turning 50 though, so hopefully something will pop into my head before the deadline. Maybe I can find a site that will pay for articles on beauty as that was my chosen career.

So as for now I'm muddling around trying to find the perfect writing gigs for me. After all you don't live to be 50 without learning a thing or two and as the saying goes "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

Curse Words

The other night at Dawn's condo we were talking about the classes she was taking and during the course of the conversation she had said "Why is the word Fuck considered a curse word?" She went on to mention that it was only a word and only became a curse word depending on the connotation you put on it. Who was the one who came up with the word fuck and who said it was a curse word. This word has a multitude of meanings depending on how you use it in a sentence. When I was growing up we were not allowed to utter such words and yet today my children fling it around with abandon as do I on some occasions, especially when I want to get my point across.

You can say fuck you, fuck me, mother fucker, your a fucker, what the fuck, fucking A, fucking rocks and so on. Another word that is very functional would be that good old word shit. Now shit is a small word seemingly harmless but we all know what the meaning is. This word can also be used in many ways such good shit, bad shit, he's full of shit, your shitting me, when the shit hits the fan, bullshit, tastes like shit, looks like shit and so on.

Now Jesus Christ! and Goddamn you, are considered curse words for the very reason you are taking the lords name in vain, but what about hell or goddamn it why are they considered curses or ass, asshole, ass wipe. These words are considered curse words with out rhyme or reason.

When I was in the fourth grade I had just started into a new school and so I was in the process of trying to make new friends. There had been a girl in my class whom during recess had called another girl a Prick. Now seems she had a much older brother and this is where she probably learned it from. I had never heard the word before and so that night I had gone home and called my sister a Prick. Unfortunately my sister went and told my mom and after that well you know what happened . I couldn't sit down for a week.

So why in this day and age are they even considered curse words when every where you go people throw them around with such abandon to add color to the English language? I don't know, all I know is that in my day any body who used such words were considered ill mannered and low life's. Oh well what the hell who gives a shit anyways.

Monday Morning Meetings Part 2

I have previously written about my last job and our Monday Morning Meetings and what a farce they were. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I always thought that company meetings were for 1. Brainstorming and 2. Bringing up matters concerning the day to day operations. Not so in that company.

The company is a family business run by a husband and wife team along with their eldest son. They meeting was always chaired by the wife with the son sitting shot gun. At the start of every meeting the mother would go around to each of us and ask if anyone had anything to contribute, so as she asked each one, each one would reply no nothing to contribute. This took all of 5 minutes and the reason no one wanted to say anything is because nothing ever got done and somehow or other if you said something they didn't like it would eventually come back and bite you in the ass.

This went on month after month and the Matriarch started getting royally pissed that no one contributed and that she was the only one who had anything to say. Her son eventually didn't bother to attend meetings.

One day during one of the meetings she went around and asked all of us if we read books. What this has to do with company business I do not know. She also asked what do we read. I already know what is going through her mind I had her pegged, so I said I was presently reading 'The Secret' and it was about the power of positive thinking and how it can change your life. This greatly excited her as this is the type thing she likes to hear. I mean this lady always likes to bring god into her meetings and as far as I'm concerned god has no place in our meetings.

A few months later she brought in some books and passed them out to all the staff and asked us to read the books. The book was entitled "How To Be Happy'. Of course we all glanced at each other and rolled our eyes. Now if you expect your staff to read a book don't you think they should be able to read on company time.

The following week she asked if any one had read the book and of course everyone said no. I decided I better start reading so that evening I went home and started reading. The book had been written by some guy who had had a six figure income who gave it all up in the pursuit of happiness. The book was boring and so I managed to finish only half of it. The following week she asked again and this time only two of us admitted to reading the book. This went on for a few more weeks when she finally got the message and gave up on everyone and stopped asking.

Reading the book was absolute bullshit as she, her husband and son all have a business so they can earn money. Don't expect your staff to read such drivel when you yourself are pursuing the almighty dollar. If you didn't want to be rich why have a business in the first place and hound your sales staff into selling more. Don't tell your staff to think of themselves as being part of a family. If we were part of your family wouldn't we be getting shares.

Now I am an avid reader but I like to choose what I want to read not something my boss forces me to read and stop bringing god to the meetings. Your staff are not all Christians. They are made up of Chinese, Indians and Malays with different religious beliefs.

A Series Of Unfortunate Events

When I was growing up in Canada my parents had always celebrated our birthday. So the festivity was celebrated with a birthday party and we could invite a few of our friends and of course our cousins. The party was always held on Saturday and if our birthday happened to fall on a weekday my parents would give us their gifts, to us, on that special day. The food served at the party would always be hotdogs with the birthday cake and ice cream for desert. That was because it was the easiest to make.

When my kids were born I too made it a practice to celebrate their birthdays. When we were in Canada it was fine but once we came to Malaysia things just weren't the same. I lived with my in laws for 11 years and the only birthdays celebrated in that house were my father in laws and my mother in laws so I made it a point to celebrate my children's birthday on my own. Every year they would get presents and also a birthday cake to mark their special day.

To this day I still celebrate my children's birthday with a present and a cake. Since Dawn's birthday was on a Tuesday this year we managed to celebrate it last night. Alex had smsed us that he had wanted to take us all out for dinner along with his dad.

Saturday morning he messaged me to come around 5 o'clock so we could have a couple of beers before going off to dinner. Of course, as usual we were late. My first born son was dragging his ass and when I bitched at him about it he told me to chill. "Can't we ever be on time for anything?" I had whined. "Christ we were late for your sisters wedding." He replies "Since we were late for her wedding I don't think it matters if we are late going to her condo." With that I turned to Pei Shin, his girlfriend and said ,"This guy will be late for his own wedding!" "Probably"
he says.

We finally got to the condo had a beer then went off for dinner. Before we left we all needed to visit the loo which is in Dawns room. Now apparently there is something wrong with her ceiling fan so they cannot switch it off. Justin didn't know so when he came out of the room he switched it off because I taught them to conserve electricity. Luckily Dawn and Alex informed us yes the fan will start up again on its own but it takes time, so before we left she opened her bedroom window to let some air in.

We went off for dinner and forgot to bring the birthday cake, so we decided to go back to their place and sing happy birthday there. As we waited for Pei Shin to come (she'd gone for her grandfathers birthday dinner) we talked, I drank beer and the rest of my kids disturbed the cats and watched a DVD. After the DVD and Pei Shin was there we sang happy birthday.

When I want to smoke I usually out to Dawn's laundry area to smoke and so towards the end of the evening I heard a cat meowing, after which we discovered two cats were missing. It seems the two had pushed open the bedroom window and had escaped. Dawn had forgotten about the window and the cats had discovered that their mom had forgotten and made their escape. They managed to get one cat back, but when we left one was still MIA. This morning she told me they finally got the cat back it took them until 2 o'clock in the morning and her shower is working.

Last night as we were driving off she had called her brother and asked if anyone had been pissing around in the shower, seems there was no water coming out. Just a series of unfortunate events.

My Fourth Child

Before I start writing my blog, I like to check to see how much traffic I'm getting and to see if there are any comments. Well this morning I noticed there was 1 comment posted on my blog Premature Alzheimer's.

Of course I have to check the comment to whether they are favorable or not, this comment it seems was sent from Robyn my fourth child. She wrote "You bitch about me too much on your blog." Yes she does seem to be my favorite topic and I do mention her a lot.

She is 16 going on 30 and she really does provide with a lot to write about. She is a good girl but she is a typical teenager and in the mind set of me me me. Some of the things she does I just have to comment about and because she and I spend a lot of time together well you know how it is. She is the one suffering the most because of my unemployed situation. I have to cut back on expenses so that means I am not able to give her the same amount of money I used to give her and also I have curtailed her jaunts to Aeon.

Robyn is like her older sister. Also a very head strong girl so she and I get into it a lot. We say nasty things to each other when we are pissed but the one thing about Robyn is she gets over it easily. She doesn't carry a grudge. She is funny and can come up with some really good lines and in this way she is like her older brother. She knows when to draw the line because she knows once I get really pissed it's time to call it a day so she can live to fight another day. We have had our ups and downs and at present my on going nagging at her is about her studies. She is not stupid but very lazy when it comes to studying and with exams coming up well my whole time is spent nagging and threatening. I usually end up telling her if she doesn't want to study then quit school and get a goddamn job and make my life easier. Of course the good mother I try to be I would not like to see her do that and spend the rest of her life working in Aeon.

I do love this girl dearly and hate to think how boring my life would be if she were not in it. I have given into her many more times then the others, which they always remind me about. I can't help it she's Robyn my fourth child.

The Power Of Positive Thinking

Last year my daughter lent me a book called 'The Secret. I'm sure a lot of people out there have read the book. I am an avid reader but I did not finish the book because frankly it bored me. I did read some of the book and from what I gather the book is saying that if you use the power of positive thinking you can be successful in life.

Now basically I can be a bit sarcastic and I have a dry sense of humour. Humour is what keeps me going through life. Hey if I didn't laugh I'd sure as hell be crying all the time.

Going through life I have found that the power of negative thinking is more powerful then positive thinking. When I was working, the drive to and from work was spent alone and so this is the time when my mind would start working. Lots of things would pop into my head, most of it not good. For a while I'd be thinking what would happen if I got a flat tire. Once that popped into my head I'd think of nothing else everyday until one day it did happen. There I was stuck on the side of the road at 2 o'clock in the afternoon in the blazing hot sun with a flat tire. No one stopped and I didn't have any numbers in my hand phone of any one that I could call to help me. So I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to change it myself. I did manage to change it after a lot of sweating, grunting and cursing. At least there was a positive side to this situation I wasn't wearing a short skirt that day and the spare tire had air in it. At some point the idea popped into my head that my speedometer might stop working and sure enough it did. On days when I got up on the wrong side of the bed I'd drive to work thinking that someday I would get fired and sure enough it happened. So all through my life I have found that the negative thoughts always happen more often then positive thoughts.

Now that I am into the second month of unemployment I have been trying to think positively. Every day I go online and search for jobs that can be done at home. I day dream of finding a job that will enable me to work from home so I do not have to sit in traffic jams, spend huge amounts of money on gas, toll and parking, and not have to put up with idiot bosses. If I am at home I can keep an eye on my two teenagers making sure they study, don't skip school or mix with bad company.

With my new found power of positive thinking I am hoping that I will find that job and that's what keeps me going. Unfortunately most of the jobs online that I have come across are mostly big scams and promise you, that you can earn thousands of dollars, but hey I keep hoping.

I Have A Stye In My Eye

I have a stye in my eye and it hurts like hell. You know those little pimples that develop in your eyelash. It developed a few weeks ago and when it came to a head I pinched it, and so I thought it would go away.

Well the little bugger is still there, and it hurts. Not only are stye's painful but once they swell up they continually rub on your eye ball causing your eye to water and eventually to swell. Now I already have huge eye bags, they look like I am carrying a set of luggage under my eyes, so when they swell, well my eye bags get eye bags. Not a pretty sight. I look like I have a lizard eye. I wake up in the morning with crust in my eyelashes from my eye watering at night.

At least I can console myself that it is not as bad as last year when I got red eye. My youngest son came home from school complaining that his eye was sore. I didn't think much about it until the next morning he woke up with red eye and dutifully told me that his two friends have red eye and had passed it along to the rest of their families. Nothing like sharing I say. I let him stay home from school so he wouldn't spread it around to his classmates and I went off to work. Once reaching work my eye felt funny and started to get itchy.

By the end of the day my eye was red , watery and itchy which was unfortunate as I had to work late. I was supposed to go to one of our Day Spas and show prospective franchises around the spa, so at eight o'clock at night I was walking around Ikano Power House wearing my sunglasses so as not to scare off the potentials and spread the cheer to the therapists.

That night I got home and thanked my son for sharing. The next morning I got up and my eye was swollen shut. When I finally managed to pry my eye open my eye bags had eye bags on top of my eye bags not to mention I looked like I was bleeding from my eye. Needles to say I called in sick and my son and I went off to visit the doctor. The next day it had spread to my other eye but not as severe. After about five days it cleared up and luckily didn't spread to the rest of the family.

So I guess a little stye in my eye is nothing compared to red eye. I'll live to tell the tale but it sure does hurt like a bitch.

Pre-Mature Alzheimers

Yesterday evening as I usually do, I sat down to watch the telly. My programs are all picked out for the whole week so I tune in everyday. I do love to watch TV, hell I could be a real couch potato if given the chance.

So 7 pm, Hallmark, The Nanny. I have seen most of the shows before but the last shows of the series I missed so I tune in every evening to watch. Robyn was watching TV with me because I wouldn't let her go to Aeon, her second home, if I allowed it. Obviously she was pissed at me and so in a fit of prissiness she fell asleep on the couch. HAHAHAHA! When she's asleep I don't have to listen to her whine anymore about going to Aeon.

She woke up after they had shown both shows and so she asked me what had happened on the show and I could not remember. I had only just watched both shows and for the life of me I could not remember what the hell the two shows had been about.

Now this is not the first time this has happened to me. There are times when I get up and go to the kitchen or up to my bedroom and once there forgot why I had gone. I stop to think about it and sometimes it comes to me most times not.

There are times when Robyn tells me that I said she could go out somewhere and I turn to look at her tell her I did no such thing. So I ask her "When did I say that?" " Last week you told me I can go." "No I didn't!" " Yes you did!" So that is usually how it goes. So I usually end up letting her go to where ever she wants to go, and of course have to suffer the pissy look she gives.

This happens most days and so I think I am suffering from pre-mature Alzheimer's. This is good for Robyn as she can bullshit me all the time, but hey I'm not worried cause I'm the mother here and I can still turn around and say no! And when she asks why not I can say "Because I said so!"

A Birthday Letter To My Daughter

To day is your birthday and on this special day I am writing you a letter. You were born 32 years ago today and I can remember that day as if it were yesterday. Which is pretty amazing as now a days I sometimes can't remember what happened an hour ago.

I was very young, too young to be a mother really, when you came into this world screaming at the top of your lungs. There you were a little red thing with a huge lump on your head. I was worried but the doctor assured me that it would disappear by the time you were 6 weeks old, and sure enough it did go away and you were left with a perfectly formed, round little head which was full of black hair. Your grandfather John had called you Willy numb nut because of that lump. It was said with deep affection because he had loved you dearly as did your grandmother.

Even though I was very young I managed to muddle through somehow and raised you to be the out standing daughter you are today. Those were trying times because at a very young age you were head strong and as you grew into your teenage years and adult hood you have always been head strong. You and I have not always seen eye to eye but some how or other we managed to stay close and managed not to inflict too much damage on each other, but for the most part I encouraged you to remain that way.

You are my first born and so are extra special to me for you are the one who taught me how to be a mother. You exceeded all my hopes ,dreams and expectations I have had for you, and so my Darling Daughter I wish you Happy Birthday and hope you will always get what you want out of life.

Love you always
Mom

PS

Christ I'm bawling like a baby now. I'm such a wus.

Zingers (No not the KFC burger)

My kids and I have a pretty open relationship so every once in a while we let fly zingers at each other. Zingers as in thinly veiled criticisms or insults and I as the mother, get zinged once in a while.

Now the two youngest in my family are 16 and 13 years of age and you would think for their age that they wouldn't have fine tuned their zinging capabilities, but let me tell you every once in a while they can come up with a good one.

For instance last night. We went for our Sunday family dinner. My eldest daughter and her husband did not come down last night so it was just me, the two younger kids, my eldest son and his girlfriend who had just gotten back from Hong Kong. Lovely girl that she is, she bought me a humongous bottle of Absolute Vodka my absolute favorite. Hopefully I can make it last for more then one week. I love my vodka and my kids and their significant others know I love my vodka and this is what I usually get zinged about. LOL!

Nothing much happened at dinner and so after finishing we made our way home and were there before 9pm. We watched the movie "Are We Done Yet!" which finished around 10:30 pm. Now earlier my eldest son had wanted to watch the DVD "White Chicks" which is a pretty funny movie but we've all seen about 20 times before. He said there was a scene in the movie he had wanted to watch again. His girlfriend finally persuaded him to watch "Are We Done Yet" but once it had finished he told his baby brother to put on "White Chicks."

So this is how it started. Jordan " No need to watch ah koh you'll probably fall asleep before you get to see that part in the show." Justin " Don't mouth off to me boy just put it on!" Jordan " I'm not mouthing off I'm just predicting the future." ZINGER! Off course Justin had nothing to reply and I of course broke out in peels of laughter which under minded Justins authority, but hey I just couldn't help myself. It was pretty funny.

We watched "White Chicks" and Justin of course did fall asleep as he usually does, so you see Jordan can predict the future. Only this time he was a bit off, because Jordan whispered to me as he was putting the DVD into the player "He'll probably fall asleep during the opening credits."

Bloody Computers

It now seems in this day and age we cannot live without the computer. Mine has been a source of comfort to me since I have been unemployed, and so when my son tried to turn it on yesterday it would not go on, instead it kept making a beeping sound.

I ranted and raved because I would not be able to go onto my computer to write my blog. Now you might say so what, but to me my blog is were I hone my writing skills for when I decide to write my novel. LOL.

No seriously I have always wanted to write a novel. Just never had the chance or the time.

Now back to my computer. My computer is not yet 3 months old and already there is something wrong with it. We are still paying for it as we bought it on time payments at 0 percent interest for 12 months. Luckily we paid extra so it would have a 3 year warranty. Trouble is since it disappointed me on a Saturday we have to wait until Monday to call the service centre. Two whole days of bloody waiting.

This morning I could stand it no longer and begged my son to let me use his laptop. He did so reluctantly as his laptop has all his work on it from his job, so he is always fear full that I will accidentally delete something. Don't worry son so far so good everything is still intact.

Hopefully when my son calls the service centre they will come tomorrow and fix it. I usually don't spend much time on the computer on Mondays as I clean the inner sanctum I call my bedroom. I love my bedroom it is so cool to sleep in at night not to mention the big king size bed.
Unfortunately it is hellish hot during the day. I don't have aircon in my house and so we rely on the ceiling fans.

So when my son calls them tomorrow I hope they get their hinies here so they can fix it straight away or I will be hopping up and down screaming and pulling my thinning hair out. I need to continue my search for free online jobs that I can do at home. I need to make myself busy or I will be wallowing on the couch in self pity. I have already gotten one invite to a blogspot that pays you money, so I don't want to delay when they give the final approval. There are many more blog sites out there that I can apply to which I have not had the chance to do yet so please get my puter fixed.

My Immortality

When my daughters mother in law passed away she had called me to give me the details of where she would be laid out and when the funeral will be. She mentioned they had had a hard time finding a suitable picture to be displayed. That night I went for one of the services.

After the service was over and we were all seated at the tables for drinks I turned to my two oldest and said " You all better get a good picture taken of me now so you won't have a problem later". My sons reply was his usual" MUM!" plus his frown and my daughters reply was to slap me on the arm.

Here in Asia especially amongst the Chinese race the subject of death is taboo. Mention it to my mother in law and she will phi phi phi you up and down. It is a subject not to be talked about especially if it is about someone still alive. Now I am a practical person and also a free thinker. I do not follow any religion even though I had been baptised an Anglican. My family was never big on religion and my father had given up on it a long time ago, so it was not really practiced in my house. I went to Sunday school as a child the first time, when I was very small. My mother had sent me. I do not know why as they never went to church themselves, only for weddings, and funerals. After a while I think my mother got tired of sending me. The second time I went was when I was around 10 or 11 years old.

We had an aunt from my fathers side of the family who used to pass down all her daughters old clothes to me and my sister. So one day she passed us a box of stuff that had contained 4 or 5 hats. The type of hat only to be worn to church, so me and my sister, (and we also managed to rope in one of our female cousins), had decided to go to Sunday school so we could wear the hats. Of course it didn't last long because we were too lazy to go to church on Sunday.

My husbands family are Taoists. So my children have been brought up mainly with that religion. As they have gotten older in one way or another they have all decided what religion they wish to follow although my hubsands family pushes Taoism down their throats and mine. I have stood steadfastly and still remain a free thinker.

After the kids father died he was buried at Fairy Park. It is a double plot and there is a place for me to go when I pass. I tell my kids not to spend a lot of money on my funeral as we all know Chinese funerals cost a bomb, and as my son puts it the Chinese are the only people who can make a profit out of death. Every once in a while when the subject is brought up (usually by me) I tell the kids that when I die they should just throw me in a cardboard box and bury me in the back yard. This always warrants a MUM! from my son and the look of distaste from my daughters.

So now the subject of the picture has come up. I have decided I do not want a picture of myself looking old and haggy. I want a picture of myself looking young and fresh. When I asked my kids what kind of ceremony would they have for me, my son said MUM! and my daughter said "Ma we'll bury you Chinese style ok". It's ok with me I'm not particular. Hell for all I care they could have me embalmed sit me in a corner with a beer in one hand and a cigarette hanging out of my mouth.

Grandma

When my husband passed away I was only 39 and the two youngest of my troupe were 5 and 3 years old. At that time I had told my eldest daughter not to make me a young grandmother. I had made my mother a grandmother at the age of 36 and so I was not ready to go down that path at the age of 39. Now I will be turning 50 next month, it is time. I want a grandchild. The feeling started to come over me when I had turned 46 and much to my dismay my daughter for once in her life listened to me and so I am still waiting.

It wouldn't be so bad except my niece who married almost three years ago now has 2 children. She is 28 years old now, the same age as my eldest son, (he's not even married yet!), and so it has become a bone of contention with me. Now I am not one of those nagging mothers some even say I am quite cool for a mom, but this is one thing I find myself nagging about is the lack of grandchildren. It doesn't help matters that when I visit my in laws or call them for anything they always slip in the same question "Is Dawn pregnant yet?" They know I badly want a grandchild and that I am green with envy that my sister in law now has two.

Now my daughter and her husband lived together before they got married, and a few months before that big day she stopped using birth control. So she has had ample time to get pregnant. When she told me, I had asked her what would happen if she got pregnant before the wedding. Her dress was quite fitted and I was worried about an expanding waist line. "Don't worry ma" she said "the back of the dress is laced up so it can be loosened. "Ok " I'd said and waited.

Now most Sundays we go out for our family dinner. I insist on it as that is the only time we spend any time together as a family. It has been years since we have all sat down to dinner together. With the kids working and one working in Singapore we don't spend much time together and so that is why I want my family dinners. Now our family dinner is the time were we catch up on what is happening in our lives, we laugh, we fight, we talk cock, and so, at one of our dinners a few weeks ago the topic got around to grandchildren. That week her husband couldn't make it for dinner so I asked her why she's not pregnant yet. "Are you trying." I'd asked her. "I mean I want to be a grandmother before I die." " Well mom" she says since "Alex is working so hard and most of the time, by the time he gets home I'm asleep." "Oh" I said "in that case I have a solution." "Book lunch." "HUH" she said. "Yeah, make a lunch time appointment with each other, rush back to the condo get the job done then go back to work." She just gave me one of her withering looks slapped herself on the forehead and shook her head. Well I thought it was a good idea. A little afternoon delight.

Sad Day

My eldest daughter messaged me yesterday that her mother in law was terminal and they did not expect her to last the night, and sure enough in the early evening she messaged me again that her mother in law has passed away.

Stella had been diagnosed with cancer almost two years ago. The poor woman had been having trouble with her stomach and couldn't eat. The first thing everyone thought was that it was a gastric problem. She was admitted to the hospital where tests were run and it was found that she had a huge growth in her stomach, which turned out to be malignant. She underwent surgery and had had to have half of her stomach removed. She went through a session of chemo and once done she seemed to be doing quite well until last April. She had been having a high fever and so she was admitted once again. This time it was her kidneys not functioning properly because of an infection. Once they got rid of the infection, she once again rallied around and seemed better.

July arrived and my daughter and her son became husband and wife. Stella attended and even though she was painfully thin she looked fantastic. She seemed happy to finally see her only son marry. We all had thought she had beaten the cancer.


Unfortunately we were wrong. Two weeks ago she was hospitalized with another high fever. She was vomiting and therefore could not keep any food down. Without food in her stomach her body could not receive any nutrients to sustain it. They did more tests and found the cancer had come back and the doctor diagnosed only 2 weeks to live at the most. When my daughter called me on Sunday she told me that Stella was being kept alive by her intravenous tube. Stella did not survive for two weeks, she succumbed early last night.

I did not get to know Stella well because I was working and had a busy schedule. She lived in PJ and I live in Klang but the few times that we have met I found her to be nice woman. She is a Christian and I am a free thinker and so I wish her from the bottom of my heart,"Go with God, Stella He will receive you." You will be forever in our hearts and sadly missed.

Mothers and Children

My daughter came back from Singapore last Thursday night for a visit. She has been working there since July, her first real job since graduating from college. I have missed her and hadn't realized how much until she went back again yesterday afternoon. After she left I felt a big void and the rest of day seem to stretch out into aloness. If I had been working it wouldn't have felt so bad for I would have been busy myself and not have been able to spend much time with her. Her job seems to be going well for her and for this I am grateful. I have 5 kids and I used to think that once they had all grown up and gotten on with their lives I would feel a sense of freedom. After all the years of cleaning up after them, doing their laundry and ironing, getting their asses out of bed for school or work , yelling at them to do their homework, forking out money, the nagging and complaining (on my part) and the tears that have been shed over the years because of them ,I now come to realize I shall miss them all when they leave. This became abundantly clear when she left yesterday. When my husband died it had been the kids that had kept me going through all those terrible days of worry, when all I had wanted to do was curl up in a ball of self pity, but because of the kids I could not do that and so I had to grow a pair of balls and soldier on being both mommy and daddy for them. I still have two left at home but they have become independent because of necessity and because of the years I have spent working. So they are seldom home ,often out doing their own thing. I am proud of my children and know that I have raised good responsible young adults and hopefully one day if I'm lucky I will have grandchildren to help raise.

Working From Home

Is it too much to ask to be able to work from the comfort of your own home. I have been unemployed now for the past month so I thought it would be nice to do typing jobs at home freelance, but every bloody time I check out typist jobs at home they ask you to pay money first. I have been to the work online at home sights, too many to count and all of them ask you for money. So when I came across a few typing jobs you can do at home on jobstreet no less and even the Star newspaper I was once again flabbergasted to see they to wanted money for membership, and the software. What a crock of shit. One even had the audacity to ask for USD100.00, not the fluctuating exchange rate but at the fixed rate of 3.8. So I sent him an email and told him I seriously wanted to work from home but I seriously was not going to fork out USD100. He replyed you can work from home for free but did I have email extractor, whatever the hell that is. So my search goes on. Yes I do want to work from home. How nice it would be to be able to sit in the comfort of your own home and work. Never having to fight the traffick jams again, no more pissant bosses who treat you like shit and make you feel less than useless and saving on gas. Is this kind of job a dream. I did fork out money to join the membership of one of these sights and to this day I have not made a single cent. That was last year. Online surveys where they promise you, you can make $5 - $25 per survey. So I signed up with a bunch of companys and to this day have not received a single survey. Or better still when you go into the free sights they tell you not available in your country. Great. My conclusion is all these sights are con jobs and they themselves make money from gulible idiots like me who are willing to fork out the money in USD no less.

Animal Lover

I am an animal lover, so this morning when I went out to buy my ciggies and newspaper (yes I'm still smoking even though the price has gone up again) I saw the dog catcher drive by with a truck load of dogs. Most of them sitting there looking dejected and one barking his head off. It saddens me to see this as I know they are not kind to the dogs and once at the pound the dogs will be put down after 3 days. On the other hand I don't like to see them roaming the streets sick and diseased. A few months back there had been a stray on our street which one of the neighbours had started to feed. He arrived on our street looking all pathetic and hairless and my son called him Diseaso. After a few months of daily meals the dog started to look healthy and his hair started to grow back. He was a friendly dog always trying to get into your compound, sticking his nose up your skirt when you got out of the car to open the gate and licking your hand when you weren't paying attention. He always got ya by surprise. So one day I came back from work and he wasn't around. My youngest son informed me that he had been taken away by the dog catcher and apparently had put up one hell of a fight. I felt sorry for the poor thing and actually missed him. I too own dogs. I also have a cat and a bunny rabbit. I have a Great Dane, a Shitzu mix and another small dog of questionable breed. They are a lot of work but if given care and kindness these animals will show you affection back. When you have been out and upon your return the dogs will greet you with their tails wagging, the cat will rush across the driveway to rub against you and even the bunny will stand up in his cage as if to say look at me, and in the early morning when you get up and start your chores they will reward you with piles of shit in the front (small dogs), piles of shit in the back yard (big dog) cat shit in the litter box and bunny shit in the cage. So my days begin with cleaning shit. Shit my kids pretend not to see. But hey its ok as I've said I'm an animal lover.

The Ugly Foreigner

I read a letter in the Star newspaper the other month whereby a local was complaining about rude foreigners in Bangsar and I have to admit, to my dismay there are a few out there. In the day spa where I used to work we catered to mostly westeners. I recall an incident with our manicurist. We had an American mother and daughter in for a full spa treatment and the daughter was having a manicure done as well. Now the mother was an all time pain in the ass and complained about everything, on the other hand the daughter was not so bad. Seems the mother was visiting the daughter, as the daughter had followed her husband here ,as he had been posted here to work. So as the daughter sat and did her manicure the manicurest accidentally cut the ladies finger with the cuticle cutter. Off course she bled like a stuck pig and when the mother saw what had happened she started to raise holy hell. I could see the daughter was embarrassed by the mothers behaviour and kept telling the mother that it was ok. The mother was undaunted and proceeded to complain to the manageress threatening to complain to the boss, and to make amends we must give them their spa treatments for free. Which is exactly what the manageress did. Here in Malaysia we to have our rude locals. Witness the locals when they drive how they cut you off, fight you for a parking space and please don't even ask them to wait their turns. The roads become jammed during rush hour because they simply cannot wait. Don't expect them to give way to you because they won't and so you must force your way in. Getting on the LRT is a nightmare as everyone rushes towards the entrance even before the passangers getting off can disembark, and what about the men. I have had men rush through the door after I have opened it to go in myself. Is that not rude. Hey buds if I open the door for myself I don't expect you to rush in first. I have been to the gas station waited 5 minutes to pump gas only to have some asshole on a motorbike quickly rush to the pump I had been waiting for and at that same day spa those locals who can afford to go expect you to kiss their asses because they paid for it. So before we start complaining about the Ugly Foreigner we should take a look around at the Ugly Malaysian, because they are there elbowing you out of the way so they can get on the elevator first or order their food before you.

Merdeka

Happy 51st Malaysia. Have you noticed this year how quiet it was. The streets were clear no celebrations at home. In my housing area any celebration is cause to set off fireworks, and so as midnight came around I waited for the noise to start. Midnight hit and all I heard was one bang! That was it, for all I know could have been a car back firing. Where is your spirit Malaysia. Is it because the price of gas went up and so did the cost of everything else. That your salary didn't go up with the rising prices. That you have to spend $600- $1000 on gas every month which puts a huge dent in your salary. It's sad sad sad that you have to work your butt off just to pay for your gas to go to work. This past month I have been going through the want adds looking for work something along the line of Admin Assistant, and looking at the salary thats being offered in these jobs I might as well stay home because it amounts to the same thing. By time I pay for my gas I'd have nothing left. And so the search goes on for that perfect job with the good pay. At least one good thing the price of gas did go down 15 cents, unfortunatly nothing else went down in price.