What it means to be a man

You can't live with them and you can't live without them! Yes any man reading this blog is probably thinking what the hell does she know what it's like to be a man. Your not that deep guys and it doesn't take much to make you happy. As long as you don't have to have a meaningful conversation with your significant other your cool.

Man, homo erectus in more then ways then one and I sometimes think that they haven't evolved much over the millions of years. While I may not be a man I have lived with men for all of my life. First my father, grandfather and uncle then my husband, father in law and brothers in law and my sons, so I think I have a pretty good handle on what it's like to be a man. Suck it up guys and let it be known that women have a great ability to tolerate.

When you are a man you think it's funny to fart in the car then lock the windows to let the other occupants bask in your special brand of aroma.

You like to play manly games like squashing beer cans on your head, pissing contests to see who can piss the farthest or what about the farting game.

You like to open beer bottles with your teeth because you think your teeth are indestructible.

You like to lift your shirt and show off your huge hairy belly or show of your butt crack when you bend over because wearing pants that cover your belly is too uncomfortable.

Dressing up means putting on your cleanest jeans, collar t-shirt and sneakers.

You still like to play with toys only now your toys are bigger and more expensive then they used to be.

Sitting at the traffic light you like to rev your engine so you can beat the guy beside you to the next traffic light.

You have all the fun of procreation but faint in the delivery room when your wife needs you the most.

You never ask for directions, even though you've been driving around for hours because you insist that you know where the place is.

You wash your hands before peeing but not afterwards because your member is not dirty.

You give your member a name like Goliath, Hulk, Peter or Johnny.

You never put the toilet seat down.

You never look a woman in the eye, your eyes are always at chest level.

You think housework is women's work, even though your wife works as hard as you do and by god you expect her too.

You think you can save money on household repairs by doing it yourself only to make it worse and then have to call in a repair man who charges you double to fix up your mess.

You gag when changing your kids shitty diaper, that's if we can get you to change them in the first place, and then wonder why your kid smells so bad.

You whine and complain when your sick but refuse to see a doctor.

You refuse to buy new underwear or wear new underwear and continue to wear your underwear that are full of holes and attached to the elastic waste band by a few threads because according to you they are still good or they are your lucky underwear. God forbid that your wife should throw them out.

You like to parade around the house in said underwear.

You go to a day spa get naked then stand there full frontal waiting for the female masseuse to walk in and check out her reaction.

You refuse to wear disposable underwear when you go for a massage because they are a) uncomfortable b) unmanly. Oh hell you just like to get naked.

So if that's not enough I have one more for ya, my most favorite one of all. You buy us artificial flowers for our anniversaries, birthday or mothers day because they last longer and are cheaper.