Happy New Year

Another year has come and gone and as I reflect on the past year, which was 2009, I can see that it had been a year of ups and downs for me. In the beginning of the year, during Chinese New Year in fact, my eldest daughter informed me that she was expecting my first grandchild. The happiness I felt was overwhelming. Many years previously I had informed her not to make me a grandmother at too young an age, but now I was ready to hold my first grandchild. After all I had been bugging her to have one since the married the year before as I did not want to be dead before my grandchildren came.

The months went by and her abdomen steadily grew, she had her worries and I did my best to alleviate her fears but in early July my sisters informed me that my dear mother had been diagnosed with cancer and they really weren’t sure how long she would last. I cried then moved heaven and earth to be with her one more time before she died. I was elated that I made it home once again to be with my family after ten long years. We had a lot of catching up to do. My eldest son and his girlfriend went with me; it was the first time my son had been to the land of his birth since he left when he was only eighteen months old. My eldest daughter had wanted to go as well to see her beloved grandmother one last time but she was too far along in her pregnancy to follow. My son met his cousins for the first time and all got along really well. It should have been a happy trip but it was not, sadly my mother passed two days after I arrived. Everyone agreed that my mother was waiting to see me one last time before she went.

We put my mother’s ashes at the top of my father’s grave, the only man she had ever loved, and it was during this time that we received a call from my daughter informing us she had gone into premature labour and had been hospitalized. She had only been thirty two to thirty three weeks along in the pregnancy. She informed me that the doctors were trying to stop her labour, thankfully they succeeded. She was put on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy. While I didn’t want to leave Canada and my family I had family at home who needed me more, so after two weeks we returned to Malaysia. Thankfully labour had been stopped but the baby did not turn and so the doctor informed my daughter to prepare for an emergency cesarean section. The date my daughter picked had been 09-09-09 which is a very auspicious day according to the Chinese beliefs; it was just as well she had picked that date because she went into labour again.

Our little darling Dallas Rose Wong Wei was born at 8:55 on the morning of 09-09-09 weighing in at 6lbs 4 ozs, quietly, by C section. She opened her big black eyes and gazed at her father who immediately fell in love as did we all. She is the brightest most beautiful child. After my daughter and granddaughter were released from the hospital they came home to mommy where my daughter would start her confinement period which is in accordance with Chinese tradition. It was a few weeks after the birth that I found my baby crying. The hormones were playing up and she had a feeling of being overwhelmed as most new mothers do. She was worried about leaving her baby when she went back to work. I was to be the one who would look after Dallas. I climbed into the bed beside her embraced her and informed her that as long as I was alive and able she would not have to worry about her child, I would always be there to help her out.

She is back to work now and everything has fallen into place. My two youngest children sat for their government exams. My youngest son sat for his PMR and my youngest daughter sat for her SPM. My son managed to score three A’s which is an achievement. Through most of his years of school he has had difficulties and had always been exalted if he came second last in class instead of last. We are proud of his achievement and I hope with all my heart he continues to do well. At this time my daughter is waiting for her results happy in the fact that she did not get picked for National Service. She is now learning to drive. She will work for a year before starting college and she has decided to study photography.

Christmas came and Christmas went and all my children came home. I did not feel like celebrating this year I kept thinking about my mother. While I had made it home to see her I was not with her when she died. My sister and I had gone home the night she died thinking she still had some time. For the rest of my life I will forever feel guilty that I was not with her to stroke her brow and soothe away her fears of dying. I’m going to bad daughter hell. On another high though my son and his fiancee, he proposed to her on Christmas morning with a nice rock that any girl would be proud to wear, bought their first house. While I have informed them that they can stay with me for as long as they want to they want their own space. I don’t blame her; I lived with my in laws for eleven years of hell.

The week after Christmas I painted my bedroom. It is now time for spring cleaning as Chinese New Year is just around the corner. Last year I did a considerable amount of painting and did not feel as bad as I did after painting just one room. My muscles and joints were on fire. Proof that age is catching up with me and I am not as strong as I used to be. I have always been a physically strong woman and often used to wonder how I would feel when I was old. Now I know. The weakness is appalling to me, but there it is we all grow old and there is nothing we can do about it. I finished my room on New Year’s Eve. All my children went out and I ushered in the New Year alone. They all called me though or messaged me and I knew they had not or ever will forget me, even number four who I am constantly at logger heads now. I sat in front of the TV and vegetated with my bottle of vodka and reflected on the past year, hoping that 2010 will be better. Then I thought how it could be better when 2009 brought me my first grandchild. While I have lost two friends to petty grievances on their part I have found an old friend who I now keep in touch with through Facebook. “Happy New Year everyone and I hope the new year will bring you all everything you always hoped for or ever wanted.