It is often said that motherhood is the toughest job in the world and Oprah is the first to shout that fact out from the rooftops even though she has never been a mother. Many woman approach motherhood with dreams and hopes and ideals thinking it will be a stroll in the park as it is shown on TV. Once the child is born all those ideas are thrown out with the piles of poopy diapers. I mean who knew that a newborn infant could shit ten times a day, especially if they are breast fed and who knew that life for you will never be the same again.
So the other night I managed to catch her show. There were women on her show sharing their dirty little secrets on how they approached motherhood. Many of these women have reached their wits end when it comes to dealing with their progeny and I could surely empathise with them. One woman confessed that she often resorted to tears when dealing with her kids. Yelling and time outs didn’t work so she cries to get her kids to behave. Listening to these women made me think of my own childhood were the motto “Spare the rod and spoil the child” was the rule of the day. There was no problem that couldn’t be solved with a good swift kick in the ass. Today no one dares hit their children, especially in public, for fear of being accused of child abuse. When we went out many people told my mother that my sisters and I were the most polite well behaved little girls they had ever met. That’s because we knew better. We didn’t ask for things when we went shopping, we didn’t dare ask for money and we did not throw temper tantrums in the store. When we met friends of our parents we called them Mr. or Mrs. or if the friend was really close we called them aunt or uncle. Times surely have changed.
When we push that squalling little thing from our loins most of us love our children unconditionally at the first sight of that tiny little face, no matter how ugly. Many of us shed a few tears because we are so overcome with emotions that cannot be put into words. One women on that show confessed that she did not like her baby and it took her a few weeks to feel any connection with it. This is probably not as uncommon as you would think, after all the pregnancy doesn’t always go as hoped and many women feel like crap during this so called special time. During the pregnancy all the attention is placed on the expectant mother but once the child is born the mother is practically ignored and all the attention is placed on the baby. No wonder many women resent their babies.
Confessions were plenty. One woman confessed that she hated the feel of her sagging breasts resting on her post pregnancy belly. Another confessed that her children don’t always get a healthy breakfast; in fact they get pizza for breakfast at least twice a week. A high flying lawyer turned stay at home mom deals with misbehaviour by taking away all her kids toys, only returning them when she feels like it. That’ll teach the little bugger. I have to confess that I once dealt with a temper tantrum that my daughter threw, one of many, too many to count really, by ripping up her favourite colouring book. That sure put an end to the tantrum. I have to confess though, while it stopped the tantrum I felt like a shit afterward because of her accusing eyes.
Yes many of us are not perfect mothers and between you and me there is no point trying to be. If your kids turn out to be rotten adults you’ll be blamed for it anyways. Mothers are only human and there will be times when we forget to stock up on diapers. One woman on the show had run out of diapers on an air flight and had asked the stewardess to bring her napkins from first class and some maxi pads for a makeshift diaper. There will be times when meals are not as healthy as they should be. The house will be in disarray because you haven’t had the time to clean up and there will be times when you haven’t showered for days on end. Many women on the show confessed that after giving birth they didn’t want sex anymore. Not surprising, sex is what got them in that position in the first place. I certainly know how they feel. After every pregnancy, five in total, I told my husband that I was still bleeding two months after giving birth when in fact I had finished six weeks after. Just to avoid sex. It’s not surprising that many marriages are ruined after the baby arrives. A lot of women actually hate their husbands after giving birth.
Many women, after giving birth, become disillusioned about motherhood. While many women want to be mothers they actually hate doing it. The war between working mothers and non working mothers is ongoing, frankly speaking both are disorganised. The only difference being is the working mother gets to join in on adult conversations on a daily basis. Some women rely on Prozac just to get through the day, because they can’t stand their kids and feel like they are the only mother in the world who has lost control. Believe me you are not alone.
So what is my dirty little secret, I have many but the ones I’m writing down here are, I love you but I don’t always like you very much and those times that you all screamed “I hate you mummy” believe me during that moment I hated you more.
So the other night I managed to catch her show. There were women on her show sharing their dirty little secrets on how they approached motherhood. Many of these women have reached their wits end when it comes to dealing with their progeny and I could surely empathise with them. One woman confessed that she often resorted to tears when dealing with her kids. Yelling and time outs didn’t work so she cries to get her kids to behave. Listening to these women made me think of my own childhood were the motto “Spare the rod and spoil the child” was the rule of the day. There was no problem that couldn’t be solved with a good swift kick in the ass. Today no one dares hit their children, especially in public, for fear of being accused of child abuse. When we went out many people told my mother that my sisters and I were the most polite well behaved little girls they had ever met. That’s because we knew better. We didn’t ask for things when we went shopping, we didn’t dare ask for money and we did not throw temper tantrums in the store. When we met friends of our parents we called them Mr. or Mrs. or if the friend was really close we called them aunt or uncle. Times surely have changed.
When we push that squalling little thing from our loins most of us love our children unconditionally at the first sight of that tiny little face, no matter how ugly. Many of us shed a few tears because we are so overcome with emotions that cannot be put into words. One women on that show confessed that she did not like her baby and it took her a few weeks to feel any connection with it. This is probably not as uncommon as you would think, after all the pregnancy doesn’t always go as hoped and many women feel like crap during this so called special time. During the pregnancy all the attention is placed on the expectant mother but once the child is born the mother is practically ignored and all the attention is placed on the baby. No wonder many women resent their babies.
Confessions were plenty. One woman confessed that she hated the feel of her sagging breasts resting on her post pregnancy belly. Another confessed that her children don’t always get a healthy breakfast; in fact they get pizza for breakfast at least twice a week. A high flying lawyer turned stay at home mom deals with misbehaviour by taking away all her kids toys, only returning them when she feels like it. That’ll teach the little bugger. I have to confess that I once dealt with a temper tantrum that my daughter threw, one of many, too many to count really, by ripping up her favourite colouring book. That sure put an end to the tantrum. I have to confess though, while it stopped the tantrum I felt like a shit afterward because of her accusing eyes.
Yes many of us are not perfect mothers and between you and me there is no point trying to be. If your kids turn out to be rotten adults you’ll be blamed for it anyways. Mothers are only human and there will be times when we forget to stock up on diapers. One woman on the show had run out of diapers on an air flight and had asked the stewardess to bring her napkins from first class and some maxi pads for a makeshift diaper. There will be times when meals are not as healthy as they should be. The house will be in disarray because you haven’t had the time to clean up and there will be times when you haven’t showered for days on end. Many women on the show confessed that after giving birth they didn’t want sex anymore. Not surprising, sex is what got them in that position in the first place. I certainly know how they feel. After every pregnancy, five in total, I told my husband that I was still bleeding two months after giving birth when in fact I had finished six weeks after. Just to avoid sex. It’s not surprising that many marriages are ruined after the baby arrives. A lot of women actually hate their husbands after giving birth.
Many women, after giving birth, become disillusioned about motherhood. While many women want to be mothers they actually hate doing it. The war between working mothers and non working mothers is ongoing, frankly speaking both are disorganised. The only difference being is the working mother gets to join in on adult conversations on a daily basis. Some women rely on Prozac just to get through the day, because they can’t stand their kids and feel like they are the only mother in the world who has lost control. Believe me you are not alone.
So what is my dirty little secret, I have many but the ones I’m writing down here are, I love you but I don’t always like you very much and those times that you all screamed “I hate you mummy” believe me during that moment I hated you more.
1 comment:
this article made me feel better, even though it was my colouring book you tore up ;p hahahahahahahahahah.... i was rotten!
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